She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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