no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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