I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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