I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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