Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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