walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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