how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
