The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize