At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
