Sponge bath it is.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
