my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
