Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize