did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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