If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
