I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
