YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
