you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
