the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
