Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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