So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
