4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize