I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do vagina's smell?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
