dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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