please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize