You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
