this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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