No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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