where am i from again
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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