dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
