Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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