He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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