it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
