She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My bed smells like the plague
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
