so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So many bounce houses so little time
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
