please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
