So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
