Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
