We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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