If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we should paint friendship bongs
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