i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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