Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
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that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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