Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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