tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
