Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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