Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
