I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize