dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
