Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
