Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize