I'm drive I can fine osifer
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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