4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
