That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize