Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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