So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
