I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
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She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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