I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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