I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
